The controversy. What if your wife
was the bar- tender whom every drunk customer pats on the bum? Or your
husband was the gynaecologist who examines naked women sometimes even
with better bodies than your own? Now, some people would rather not
imagine such by not having the said professionals as partners. Many people go out of their way to be successful
at their profession. However, for some, their dream profession may
often drive potential partners away. This kind of phobia comes with what
society thinks of certain occupations or at most what a person prefers
their partner to be.
Difficult to marry
Some people
will tell you they can never choose a bartender, casual labourer and
masseuses for a partner. They feel those kinds of people attract so much
attention mostly because of their job description. Imagine your wife as
a waitress whom men are free to tap and yet she can’t be rude to them
as it would be considered ‘lack of customer care’! It is devastating!
For
Rebecca (not real name), a gynaecologist is a no go area for her choice
of a man. And this, she says, is despite the profession being respected
and fetching a good cheque at the end of the month! She feels having
her man look at women’s private body parts everyday leaves no space for
her.
But Isaac Obonyo, a health worker, refutes such assertions
saying when a man gets back home from work, he forgets all that he might
have seen at work and concentrates on his wife.
“What makes them even less attached to the
patients is the fact that the women they examine at work most times have
come with ill private parts that need attention and are not
attractive.”
Whereas we consider soldiers our gallant men and women,
most people would rather honour them for their role and not partners.
Angela says despite being in love with Brian, she had to separate with
him when he joined the UPDF because she wanted to live a tension-free
life. “I could not live with the thought of him coming in a body bag
each time he left home for missions. I kept thinking maybe he could be
the unlucky one that doesn’t get to return home. I called it quits!”
Most men will say they are more concerned with what goes on at their partner’s workplace than the occupation itself.
Bartenders
and waitresses are known to get trouble from getting touched
inappropriately by men. No man would stand having his woman touched by
any man.
Joseph Kasaija, 28-year-old computer scientist, says he
would never marry a bartender because “she serves men more than she has
to”. “What man would bear the thought of having their woman available
for all men to touch and play with, certainly not me I am the jealous
type.”
Need Vs want
Not dating or
marrying a person because of their profession is pointless according to
Evelyn Kharono Lufafa, a counsellor at Ssubi Medical Centre. She says an
occupation is just a job or means of earning a living.
“People
should always distinguish between what they want and what they need.
Wants are negotiable. Things such as occupation, intellect and physical
attributes such as height and weight which over time will change making
one realise they limited their choices.”
However, Lufafa adds that needs are aspects that
matter most to a person such as values, ambitions or goals in life. And
these you can only find out after being with that person for a while
which leaves considering occupation irrelevant.
“It is the character
which counts and profession has nothing to do with character rather the
man or woman of decent character may have a profession you dislike but
their character meets your expectations. Yet the one with a profession
you like may have a character you may not handle.”
From: http://www.monitor.co.ug/artsculture/Heart-to-Heart/Occupations-scare-partners-away/-/691230/3278274/-/i60o89z/-/index.html
