Occupations that scare partners away

The controversy. What if your wife was the bar- tender whom every drunk customer pats on the bum? Or your husband was the gynaecologist who examines naked women sometimes even with better bodies than your own? Now, some people would rather not imagine such by not having the said professionals as partners. Many people go out of their way to be successful at their profession. However, for some, their dream profession may often drive potential partners away. This kind of phobia comes with what society thinks of certain occupations or at most what a person prefers their partner to be.

Difficult to marry
Some people will tell you they can never choose a bartender, casual labourer and masseuses for a partner. They feel those kinds of people attract so much attention mostly because of their job description. Imagine your wife as a waitress whom men are free to tap and yet she can’t be rude to them as it would be considered ‘lack of customer care’! It is devastating!
For Rebecca (not real name), a gynaecologist is a no go area for her choice of a man. And this, she says, is despite the profession being respected and fetching a good cheque at the end of the month! She feels having her man look at women’s private body parts everyday leaves no space for her.
But Isaac Obonyo, a health worker, refutes such assertions saying when a man gets back home from work, he forgets all that he might have seen at work and concentrates on his wife.

“What makes them even less attached to the patients is the fact that the women they examine at work most times have come with ill private parts that need attention and are not attractive.”
Whereas we consider soldiers our gallant men and women, most people would rather honour them for their role and not partners. Angela says despite being in love with Brian, she had to separate with him when he joined the UPDF because she wanted to live a tension-free life. “I could not live with the thought of him coming in a body bag each time he left home for missions. I kept thinking maybe he could be the unlucky one that doesn’t get to return home. I called it quits!”

Most men will say they are more concerned with what goes on at their partner’s workplace than the occupation itself.
Bartenders and waitresses are known to get trouble from getting touched inappropriately by men. No man would stand having his woman touched by any man.
Joseph Kasaija, 28-year-old computer scientist, says he would never marry a bartender because “she serves men more than she has to”. “What man would bear the thought of having their woman available for all men to touch and play with, certainly not me I am the jealous type.”

Need Vs want
Not dating or marrying a person because of their profession is pointless according to Evelyn Kharono Lufafa, a counsellor at Ssubi Medical Centre. She says an occupation is just a job or means of earning a living.
“People should always distinguish between what they want and what they need. Wants are negotiable. Things such as occupation, intellect and physical attributes such as height and weight which over time will change making one realise they limited their choices.”

However, Lufafa adds that needs are aspects that matter most to a person such as values, ambitions or goals in life. And these you can only find out after being with that person for a while which leaves considering occupation irrelevant.
“It is the character which counts and profession has nothing to do with character rather the man or woman of decent character may have a profession you dislike but their character meets your expectations. Yet the one with a profession you like may have a character you may not handle.”
From: http://www.monitor.co.ug/artsculture/Heart-to-Heart/Occupations-scare-partners-away/-/691230/3278274/-/i60o89z/-/index.html